It's been awhile

Been awhile since I last smelled your bvlgari perfume on your body, have you started using a new one yet? Since I felt your touch, do you remember my smooth skin? Tasted your sweet lips and your warmth in me, was I your last. do they yearn for me? A few more days, until I see you again. You are the only lover, ( at the moment.. ) am I yours?

If you love me, won't you let me know?

Me, Im The Creator.

Of all things horny & evil, ho ho, NOT! Yes, I can be a mighty bitch sometimes. Most of the time I'm just a bitch, a nice one. Example of bitchy me today, I was so sick and tired of the way some irresponsible Malaysians drive, I honked simultaneously at this one car infront of me. He was obviously rushing as if, chasing for the light of sexual bliss/enlightment/blabla. He couldn't wait at the right lane to turn right as everyone was doing, he had to BLOCK my lane from turning left, because the left lane was shorter and we did not have to wait for the light.

Being the daft/stupid/ball-ess driver as he already is, his planned of cutting the que didnt work, he was still STUCK at the left lane when the light turned red, STUPID. Why can't you just wait?! Sometimes being patient can get you to whatever sexual bliss you were rushing for faster. Rather than driving wreckless, cause an accident or fuck up another person's day and lose your balls. I am nice, I don't honk much, I just curse your balls off in the car (whoops, yeap that's how your balls shrank) but this time, after mental exhaustion from finance AND law, I decided to just let it out. BOY! Did it feeeell goood. Celaka all these drivers.

Love,

NicoleBooBoo

Crazy.

Have you seen our country's latest political dramatic composition? Total political madness! Impractical and senseless. Not to say a total embarrassment to most of the people in our country! With 'a few' of our politicians having conniption fits nearly all the time. (so dramatic) How would foreigners view us, they already have a bleak outlook on us, what more with all these going on now.. Tsk. What happened Malaysia? What happened?!

J'aime Malaisie! (no matter what)

I love lace. It's the latest crazy trend ever. I love lace. ;0)

NEXT.

Gorgeous sunset

It is always so easy to write here compared to writing in xanga. Maybe it is because of the lack of privacy I have there and maybe because I have one too many secrets to hide from those people who read my xanga. Those scandalous secrets that might cause a real strain on relationships and emotional harm. Ahh, it has been quite awhile since I last properly wrote, I'm afraid I'm loosing my touch, as I type this, I see Baldie popping up online, I miss the sex we had, the night I had with him in Singapore. Almost as I think I know how I feel for him, I lose it. I always said he will always be the other man, the one I can never get rid off, he still is, it's just what role does he play in my life that I'm confused off, my sex toy? My not the time yet future companion? I can go on forever questioning myself.

Next is my determining period of whether I graduate with my diploma in the next 4 months, I can't even guarantee myself a pass for this second last term. I question my abilities all the time, maybe because studying does not appeal as much as the clothes and shoes. Hohoho! (oh no!) Should've taken the easier route of going into Rooms Division.

Is it not sex is the next best thing in life? No wonder my life has been going downhill, I'm sexually DEPRIVED. (whooops, sorry for the TMO to my angelicVirgin friends). I miss D, I need what Pilot can give me and I want Baldie. Now, why can't women practice polygamy too?

-------------

My very charming and pretty cousin sister had her wedding ceremony last weekend

Bye. Till the next sunset...

Love,

Nicole

NEWS!

I meant by, new. I've been so busy lately, I've no time for myself! or my friends, I feel horrible. But when I'm not busy at work, I'm bored at home because it'll be on weekends, and I don't like going out on weekends and most of my friends would be busy with their family.

Yeah, I don't like being in crowded places.

I got my new phone, finally. Time is practically flying pass and it has been nearly 3 months since I left my books for my industrial training and it'll soon be time for me to go back and face another half a year in college. Nerve wrecking, especially restaurant practicals.

I broke up with D about a month ago. Which I don't feel extremely, sad.. or heart broken. I guess my heart wasnt at his most of the time. Ahh, there's another big bad secret that I've to keep hush about which happened in Singapore. Yes, there's always the other man, there's always him around. Would it change anything if I was permanently in Singapore?

Time flies, doesn't it?

It's already been a week since I left my very short but 'amazing' holiday in Singapore and I think I left my heart there as well. I can't help but miss those complains of taking the pubic transports, sharing bathrooms with strangers and sneaking in late/or early in the morning to the dorm after a good night of beer. I miss the 2 men there, or maybe I just don't see them often and I feel comfortable in their company.
I miss meeting up with SIM and our struggle in finding the perfect pair of flops. I miss being away from it all in KL and be totally carefree in Singapore. I can't help but to shudder in fear and discomfort to think about the other half of 2008. Where classes will start again and the pressure for restaurant practical heighthens. Where it'll be the determining period of whether I'll pass my Diploma and move on to Australia or Singapore. =)

And in the next half of 2008, I've to make up my mind on which University to attend. Which country to go to. What course do I want to continue with. Whether I'll regret with the path I've chosen.

O M G. Stress.

I just want to get married and have kids. Thanks.

Omg.

Sex helps. Lols.

I'm back from my very short holiday in Singapore. Short and fast. Time flies when you're having fun, before I could actually say a proper hello to Singapore, I'm already leaving. Still, it was 4 days 3 nights of bliss and complains.
Complains, because of my terrible mood swings that probably drove Selyna MAD, complains she had to bear for the first two days in Singapore. Until she had to let her frust out by telling baby about my complains.
Selyna "You know she's been complaining so much. Complain yesterday, complain this morning.
Damn bad mood la she today"
D "Isn't that normal for her?"

I stayed at the hostel for the first night. Which was pretty uncomfortable. Met up with Kyle and Sim in Bugis for dinner and a walk-around. Then had beers late night with the baldie. After suffering from frust of taking&waiting for the public bus, I felt so happy & relieved to have someone to pick me up and take me around. You cannot imagine how lost I and uncomfortable I felt taking the public bus.

Second day was spent in FHA and Orchard with Sim & Selyna. D picked us up for dinner and pool. Took Sim to see his Merlion. Actually felt happy that D was able to mix with my friends =)
Selyna left on the third day and I spent the day and night in Sentosa with D. I'm still confused about a lot of things.

I miss the work-free days, those hours of being in his arms... OMG. Fuck.

Yeahs!

I am so so so happy that I pass my economics! I bought the shoes I really wanted AND, I'm going to Singapore! =) =) Life is going kinda well...

I just need a little more money for clothes.

Going Mental

It is coming close to every night that I dream about working. Because work has caught up with my life, slowly creaping its way tru my veins and sooner or later taking over my body... Maybe it has already done so. Lifeless, is what I may say about my life now. Other than working with a bunch of a bit crazy Indonesian Chinese, my life is a dull. No more cheesy scandals, no more naughty real life situations.. no more.. fucks. Pathetic huh? And who can say "life sucks!" better than max?

I'd be turning to an emo fuck soon if D does not call. I have imaginations of him having another girl. wtfs. I am going crazy. I miss Penny and Jing so much at these times when we can go out and have our girly chatt and TRY to eat healthy, TRY to shop cheap.. It really takes my mind off things. *sobs* I feels likes cryings.

I am trying to keep myself away from cigs, other than showing the others how to do a reversed waterfall last night, I have been doing a great job. I was never really addicted to cigarettes. I can mostly do without it but with the pressure going on in me, a cig is like a 1/5 path to a few seconds of 'bliss'. But is it worth it to destroy a further few years of my life?

Wild Sex.

I was thinking of those intimate scenes in movies or those written in books and realised what turned me on the most was those really wild/forced ones. I'd like a guy who would just pin me down in bed and start ravaging my body. LOLS.

It scared me a bit last year, when buddingpilot knew what I wanted, he could just read me like an open book. He says the right things about me and that is, quite freaky. I have never had anyone who truly knows what I desire, not even my closest friends know my deepest, wildest, darkest, secrets and fantasies. OMG.

But the relationship between buddingpilot and me is gone. That is what I think, when I told him that I was getting back with my ex. He thought my ex was a puss and a loser when he couldnt decide whether he wanted me or not at first. I mean, alright.. maybe D is a bit.. indecisive or shy at times on expressing himself, and then.. I wanted a man, so I took bPilot undermywings (hahawtfs). Now, I'm telling him that, I've chosen the loser, over the bestwildgoodsexguyhim. The guy whom I 'cheated' with him on.. (no I'm not proud of what I've done)

He's pissed off. I don't know what to do. But the question is whether was he just playing around in the first place? eh?

I love jing who tried to called me countless times to see me in Pyramid. I love jing. she hots. =)

OMG

Firstly, I would like to express my... uhm, dissatisfaction towards my parents and their respect for my privacy - They read my text message when my phone rang, dammit! wtf?!cibai. Really, I feel so violated. I know I'm their daughter, but there's respecting ones privacy? Daughter rights?! No? No words can describe how terribly angered I am. I did not argue with them, because my mom sees no problem of reading my private letters. =) How FUCKED UP is it?

Secondly, she saw the photo of D & me. OHMYSGODS! The photo of him kissing my cheek and she had to make a big hoohaaa about it, because a kiss on the cheek is intimate to her. So to all my friends whom I kissed on the cheek and hugged, I love you and I have intimate thoughts of you everynight. And no, I did not tell her what sort of relationship am I in with THATGUYWHOKISSEDYOURCHEEKHOLYHELL! Well, I'm confused about the relationship too, that's why.

Thirdly, mother of all hells - Industrial Training starts again. I'll be training as some low class waitress in some lower class japanese restaurant, because highso Zn thinks they're too fucking good for me. Tomorrow I have to report for duty and, it's 2047hours, the schedule for me is not out yet. Shit, so blloody hell efficient.

Fourthly, I am deprived.

Nic loves work. eaaright