I want to be Peter Pan.

I have 3 more weeks until I return to my normal life as a -bum- slacking young adult. Oh, the joy.

I never want to grow up. I want to stay young and never want to enter the working world. Adults are fucked up -uh-huh- with the exception of hot balds in their late 20s and hot tanned men in their mid 20s gorgeously suited and smells of Bvlgari.

oohhhhh!

I shall bear with the hotel since I've only another 3 weeks with them and try to be in my best behaviour. HoohA!

The thought of going back in the hotel is not as traumatizing as the fact of finding out that someone has been in the compounds of my house illegally! The thought that someone has been into my house without anyone of us knowing.. is.. O M F G.

Dammit. Don't rob me la. Shit I'm so poor I don't have enough money to buy chicken wings K?!

"Moms are always right, don't fuck around with them. Cos in the end you'll be the one fucking yourself" - Nicoisawesome

Scandals & Cigarettes.

Too tired - took 2 days off. =)

21 more days.
18 more working days.

Life is all about scandals and hidden secrets. That's what makes life so interesting and it is what makes the world go round, agree, no?

Our life basically evolves around juicy gossips and scandalous issues (or more so nowadays, dark hidden murderous secrets). More accurately, I should say it as, sinful crimes, turmoils, chaos... Anything that has a negative effect on other people, is more interesting that saving animals or the person winning some noble peace award.

True? True?

Don't you just have that burning yearn to eavesdrop on that bunch of girls sitting at the next table, talking about, say - Which Wife slept with Which Husband? - - Which Husband ran away with Which Maid? -

Interesting isn't it?

Everyone has their fair share of scandals la.
Hidden secrets, why not talk about your own dirty secrets than gossiping about other peoples, making their life even less bearable? Because we're all selfish bitches. We want the next person to die and rot in hell so that we, on the other hand can seem more, attractive, capable... whatever because there isn't - a competition - anymore.

A lil bit of self discovery and soul searching

Is what I need.

My life's at a lost, I'm at a lost. I don't know what I've become and what I want. Things that I've vowed not to do again, I've done. Being in the same shithole over and over again.

I've a problem with myself so badly that even my own body is trying to kill/hurt myself. As I search desperately for what I was once before, not because it was great, but it was better than some parts of what I am now. I still search in vain.

I've a problem, in trusting men. Everytime I try to protect myself, I hurt the opposite. In the end, hurting myself. I became a screw up not because I choose to be, because I had to be. I don't want to be the one hurting. The stupid one, the one that trusted his sweet words and let my guard down.

I was made a bitch because of the assholes you men tend to be.

After a month.

I'm in my second department, I am trying to take it and look at it in a different perspective but heck, I did not NOT choose to major in Rooms Division in my second year for a reason.

I'm not the housekeeping type. Not even high-so executive housekeeper type.

Being in this department is really testing my humility, being a practical trainee for my first general training, I'm suppose to learn the basic, lowest of all post in the department. Being in housekeeping means I've to clean rooms and bathrooms AND the public area of the hotel.

Dad : "You have to learn to do things below your level to achieve better success next time."
Me : "But to train as a cleaner? A bit STUPID right?"

---

Mom : "You should talk to your college about this, although you're student status, why should

put you doing all this dirty jobs for so long?"

Me : "Exactly, I didnt qualify and pass all my stupid business maths, food sc, etc to be a

cleaner."

---

Yes, I admit, I want face. I'm willing to clean rooms and bathrooms because then only I'll know the standard of how a room is suppose to be cleaned and look like but NOT too long and NOT a person who sweeps the floor or wipe objects in the hotel.

No, I'm not degrading those cleaners in the hotel, I don't look down at them, I even feel proud that at least they got themselves a legal, paying job. I'm looking at it in MY manner, I don't like and want to be a cleaner.

Admit it, YOU wouldn't like it either, right? How would you feel?

A part of me wants to test my limits, patience and whatever. It's a process to make me a better person. Another part of me is, a bit... wanting face, my skin isn't that thick afterall.

Mom said she could get Dr. X (a specialist and a good friend of my mom and cousin sister after they were diagnosed with Breast Cancer, also their surgeon) to write me a letter stating I've some kind of medical problem that sees me unfit for the job/department or MCs.

Everyday, since I started in housekeeping, I've been thinking positive and assuring myself that, I can learn something from this and not to be cynical of everything and the people I work with.

I'll tell you the outcome after next week. I AM giving housekeeping a chance.

Dad : "Look at how dirty your cup is, all the coffee stains."

Me : "The cup's too white la, needs colour."

Do I look like a housekeeping attendant to you? I didn't think so.